Kids & Regrets

Wai Gong recently spoke about having kids and how much effort & sacrifice parents have to go through bringing them up. Mommy is surprised that he said if he lived his life over, he probably will not want to have kids.

Two years ago in 2006 when our family was going through a family crisis, I may have felt the same way - that kids were a burden and I wouldn't want to have them if I could live my life again. But now nearing end of 2008 and with two girls who are absolutely a joy to be with most times, I feel different.

Wai Gong's words did make me think real hard about life with kids and the various perspectives. It is without doubt that having children will take a lifetime of responsibility, a toil on finances and a whole load of sacrifices but I finally understand that it's all worth it. So what if these days I can only buy an occasional pair of 3 inches heels and one that costs more than $200? So what if I have to miss the weekend wine and dine at expensive restaurants? So what if we have had to miss just flying off to a new exotic location every once in a while?

For the past five years or more, I had made a choice to give up a promising career and lots of material wants and freedom. Although it was tough coming to terms with having to count the dollars initially and losing my freedom of not having an hour for leisure or lunch, I still felt happy each time my children hug me and tell me they love me. I wanted kids and I wanted to be there for them and to inculcate in them what's right and wrong. And simply be there for them when they need me. It was just fortunate that Daddy was with me on this and we managed to make our family work out so far.

Some people tell me that even if you had been there for the kids, some kids will still turn out bad. It's just fate. While I agree that being there for them may not always translate into them being wonderful persons in the future, I am just glad to be able to be a mother to my children, receiving and giving them hugs when they need. The rest, s they say are up to fate.

Now with the retail shop and the long hours away from Kieona and Kierra, I realize now that it is not the kids who stop you from doing things but it is what motivates you to keep doing them. Without them, I wouldn't have had the mind to want to pay it forward by helping more parents bond with their children naturally and effortlessly. Without them as motivation, I will not bother to put in so much effort into building a sustainable business and to help other parents at the same time. Without them, I will not see any need to strive for a better life. Without them, my family is not complete. Without my family, then life is not worth striving hard for.

Mommy finally understands why we are working so hard for. And it's great knowing that. Thank you Wai Gong for helping Mommy understand my primary source of energy. And for the last time I'll say, having kids is one decision I will never want to change if I have to live my life over.