Friday, December 26, 2008

Kids & Regrets

Wai Gong recently spoke about having kids and how much effort & sacrifice parents have to go through bringing them up. Mommy is surprised that he said if he lived his life over, he probably will not want to have kids.

Two years ago in 2006 when our family was going through a family crisis, I may have felt the same way - that kids were a burden and I wouldn't want to have them if I could live my life again. But now nearing end of 2008 and with two girls who are absolutely a joy to be with most times, I feel different.

Wai Gong's words did make me think real hard about life with kids and the various perspectives. It is without doubt that having children will take a lifetime of responsibility, a toil on finances and a whole load of sacrifices but I finally understand that it's all worth it. So what if these days I can only buy an occasional pair of 3 inches heels and one that costs more than $200? So what if I have to miss the weekend wine and dine at expensive restaurants? So what if we have had to miss just flying off to a new exotic location every once in a while?

For the past five years or more, I had made a choice to give up a promising career and lots of material wants and freedom. Although it was tough coming to terms with having to count the dollars initially and losing my freedom of not having an hour for leisure or lunch, I still felt happy each time my children hug me and tell me they love me. I wanted kids and I wanted to be there for them and to inculcate in them what's right and wrong. And simply be there for them when they need me. It was just fortunate that Daddy was with me on this and we managed to make our family work out so far.

Some people tell me that even if you had been there for the kids, some kids will still turn out bad. It's just fate. While I agree that being there for them may not always translate into them being wonderful persons in the future, I am just glad to be able to be a mother to my children, receiving and giving them hugs when they need. The rest, s they say are up to fate.

Now with the retail shop and the long hours away from Kieona and Kierra, I realize now that it is not the kids who stop you from doing things but it is what motivates you to keep doing them. Without them, I wouldn't have had the mind to want to pay it forward by helping more parents bond with their children naturally and effortlessly. Without them as motivation, I will not bother to put in so much effort into building a sustainable business and to help other parents at the same time. Without them, I will not see any need to strive for a better life. Without them, my family is not complete. Without my family, then life is not worth striving hard for.

Mommy finally understands why we are working so hard for. And it's great knowing that. Thank you Wai Gong for helping Mommy understand my primary source of energy. And for the last time I'll say, having kids is one decision I will never want to change if I have to live my life over.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Gymnastics on Rings

Wow! This is a proud Mommy posting. Since the shop opening more than a week ago, I haven't had much time to spare for the girls. Kieona was a little upset that I couldn't take them to their gymnastics lesson last Wednesday. Yesterday I made some time out for them by going with them for their class in the evening while Wai Gong watched the shop.

It was the most fabulous gymnastics lesson that I watched them perform. As they were having some certification testing, I just told them before the lesson to show me what they wanted me to see. Show me they did. Both were able to execute a backwards roll on the rings. Kieona could do that and come down in a straight up position without losing her balance. Kierra could hold her backwards roll on the rings very well for a long period of time. That is just so fantastic - anyone watching them will have been amazed. Well, even I for one, cannot do that, let alone balance my body and come down without losing balance. In fact, they were the only ones in the entire class who could successfully attempt that move.

It's a pity Mommy didn't have a videocam. It was a moment so good, yet the moment slipped without getting captured. It was fortunate though I made it to watch their routine. I hope I can get one more eureka moment like this and I hope I have my videocam ready the next time round.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Moles & Beauty

Gu Gu always tells Mommy that Kierra has a mind of her own. Although I never really quite figured out what is meant by that, Kierra does sometimes come up with strange analogies or forms her own conclusions about things.

Take for example yesterday when I got them to brush their teeth and wash their faces before they head for bed. Kieona got to the toilet first to pass urine and was upset that she isn't first to get there. So she told me that she doesn't like Jie Jie. When I asked why, she said Jie Jie is ugly. I told her that it's a mean thing to say and it's not very nice to comment on how others look. And I added that I actually find Kieona rather pretty. Then she said, "Jie Jie face got mole. Mommy, you also. Daddy also. You all not pretty. Only I don't have mole on my face. So I very pretty."

I nearly flipped over with laughter.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Price Of Beauty

It's been a couple of months since the girls had their ears pierced. We thought their ears have healed properly and never knew that it can get infected after they've healed. Anyway, it started with Kierra. She started having pus in the pierced earhole. Mommy diligently started putting the lotion again but it didn't improve for more than a month. That was in October.

Then Kieona's started acting up too. We brought them back to B'Dazzle - the place they had their ears pierced for a check and were told to continue applying the lotion. My, that didn't help although Mommy did it at least twice a day.

I thought about it and even though they advised against taking out the earrings, we decided enough was enough. It was causing too much grief and pain in the kids. We looked around for those earrings that are made in a continuous loop. It was a humongous task, and only after scouring many goldsmith did we find one that is exactly what Mommy was looking for - like hers. They were pretty expensive, but even if it costs more I suspect we would have paid anyway.

The big task began and the day we had the earrings changed was a day deep in pain for the girls. Removing the old earrings wasn't difficult, although it must hurt for Kierra too since the pus had her ear studs stuck fast to her skin. We used the maid's method of applying oil while putting on the new earrings. Both girls cried and Kierra was kicking furiously. Mommy managed to get Kieona's done, but with Kierra kicking and no one able to provide comfort I soon gave up. Thank goodness Daddy wasn't squirmish and persisted to put them on for her.

My, such kicking and screaming but they finally went through. There was some blood shed but it's been two weeks now, and we believe it is finally healing.

For people whose kids are having their ears pierced, one word of advice. You may want to get similar earrings like the ones we bought, as they allow the skin to breath since water can get logged and cause problems if the kids are wearing ear studs. I'll be posting some photos of the loop earrings when I get the chance.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Humble Green Beans Cure for Coughs

It was a pleasant surprise. Mommy craved for green bean soup soon after the other day we had green bean soup at Thomson Plaza. I actually felt that I was going to catch the kids' flu bug with so little sleep and so much running around but got better with that single bowl of green bean soup.

Why not let the kids have them I thought, since I remembered my maternal grandma always saying that it is "cooling" in nature. The girls have been coughing so badly and I thought it couldn't get any worse. Plus, since I was craving it.....

We just boiled some green beans (costs us like only S$0.80 only) in a pot of water with a few pandan leaves for taste, some mini sago pearls for fun and some rock sugar. Can't use normal sugar as I heard it's heaty. So anyway, I braced myself for some protests by the kids as the last time I tried, Kieona hated green beans and refused any. (Can't blame her since I'm really not a green beans fan too.)

The sago helped a little and they both took some (without the beans as usual) and yesterday night, the cough seems to just disappear. Even Daddy felt the effects. He had been coughing badly (though not as bad in his sleep as the girls) and I didn't hear any resemblance of any coughs yesterday. They only coughed a little when they lay down and it wasn't incesant, like all the nights before. It remained so until morning when they woke up. Miracle, isn't it?

Today, they polished up the green beans soup before their nap and again no cough when they lay down to nap and none in between either. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for their speedy recovery. Yay!!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Week of Flu

It's been a week since Kieona caught flu, and she's not getting any better. Kierra caught it too on Monday, a day later than Kieona with yo-yo fevers and incessant coughing throughout the day and night for both. We heard that meatpie was sick too - he was made to go home from school just 2 hours after he went there last Monday.

Yee Yee called and told us Pie was in hospital this morning (his PD's clinic), and was waiting to do his blood test, mucous test, X-ray. He had diarrhoea and had wheezing sounds. Was told he got bronchitis soon after and other test results will only be out on Monday. Meanwhile he's got to be on the neubulizer for the next 3 days. Poor Pie. Must be tough.

Our girls are really not doing much better. Today's visit to the GP found that Kieona has swollen lymph nodes and that's why the pain she complained in her neck area. It is not a suprise, since she had been coughing really hard the past few days. If anything, I thought it was getting worse. Dr Cheah said we have to monitor as it's spreading downwards and may lead to pneumonia - which seems to be getting very common for the young kids this season.

Argh!!! I just hope it doesn't get any worse. Mommy already wakes at every drop of the pin in the night, and it's been a week without much proper sleep. What a bad time too... since our retail store will be opening in 2 weeks and we've been busy preparing.

Their school mentioned in a health alert sent via email that a child caught HFMD. Don't know which is worse. Perhaps this flu was around to let the kids avoid any contact with that terrible virus. So are we lucky or not? I'm not sure.

However, I must say that I have been more than a little disappointed that the health alerts given by the center hasn't really been too proactive. I wonder since we never quite heard a beep, if any notable virus has been going around amongst the kids. The only personal contact we had was when I called the school to inform them of how my kids were faring and to find out if there were certain symptoms in other sick kids so that I could stay on my toes. Alas, didn't get any information which makes me a wee bit disappointed. Nah, don't think I'll be updating in future since it seems this is not the norm.

I had always felt that the more prudent way to deal with such "center epidemics" is to call and check with kids who have been away for 2 or more days to ask if there's anything wrong or if there are certain symptoms, so that the school could alert parents and we can take note if there is any serious virus spreading. While we have always kept our kids away to prevent any spreading of viruses to their schoolmates when they are ill, I wonder if others are doing the same, and am starting to lose my trust in that the school can enforce such behavior, or at least keep us informed of health situations, rather than keeping within MOH guidelines. Sigh!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Others Strengths vs Our Weaknesses

The weekend was a little heated, not by the weather but a conversation that we found ourselves in. It makes one wonder - does it help someone if you keep comparing and make yourself feel bad by pitting your weaknesses against others' strengths?

Just on Sunday, a relative told us that a friend's grandchild who is Kieona's age could recite Chinese Tang poems. Naturally, Mommy went "Oh, isn't the child smart?" The person went on to discuss about teaching a young child languages and all, and that we "must" read and make Kieona recite the Chinese Tang poems so that she knows. Mommy wanted to just end the conversation as I didn't see it getting anywhere, but then this person brought it up to Daddy's attention and that's where it got a little out of hand.

Because of the insistence, Daddy actually felt compelled to protect his children like all parents will. So he brought up the fact that Kieona was able to swim for short distances and get out of the water to breathe by herself. Then Mommy felt compelled to add that she is able to read some Chinese characters and play a simple tune on the electone. The person went, "Are you sure?" Then as Kieona and Kierra were scribbling in one corner and it was brought to his attention that Kieona can write her own name as well as Kierra's, he went "Really? Let me see.", took up the paper and went "where? Is it correct?".

As Chinese, we talk about modesty but we felt it really need not go beyond putting down our own strengths just to let others look better. For example if we really have to compare, does the same child who can recite Chinese Tang poems swim? Can he play the electone or recognize the Chinese characters? We were then lectured that a young kid should not learn to write characters. While we do agree that languages start with listening and speaking, must we stop a child from writing if this is what she is interested in and learns best? It certainly didn't make a lot of sense to us. When all these didn't get through, it was implied that we have to teach our kids. I certainly don't think he is in the position to comment, since there really is no need for us to justify what and how we teach our kids. We recognize that all kids are different and all families different, so we have generally preferred to kept our mouths shut where the topic of how people bring up their kids is broached.

Although the conversation was ended abruptly, the damage has already been done. Kieona actually went home and while I was trying out her electone pieces, she ran into the room and came out with her Chinese folder. She wanted to show me the Chinese poems she learnt in the Chinese class but she ended up sobbing, telling me "everything also I don't know". It broke my heart. I explained I love her for being her and furthermore she already knows a lot of things and we're really proud of her achievements. I thought nothing more of that, until she started sobbing again while having her teeth brushed that night. Then she told me that she is not good and cannot learn everything.

Hearing that makes Mommy feel so lousy and heartbroken. I just hugged and kissed her, and tell her it all didn't matter. As long as she keeps trying, her achievements are the only yardsticks she should ever measure herself against. There is no point getting upset by comparing our weaknesses against someone else's strengths. We should be proud of our own achievements and be acknowledge that everyone has different strengths.

Lessons learnt:
(1) Never pit your weaknesses against someone strengths. You will never feel good.
(2) Only give your comments if you can help someone, and save your comments if you have nothing positive to contribute. You may affect someone's (a young child) self-esteem.
(3) Never let what you hear affect you. Try to manage the noise.
(4) Believe in yourself. You are really better than you think.
(5) Love knows no boundaries. This episode makes Mommy more aware than we will love our children the way they are, even if they are not geniuses.
(6) All parents care for their children, but there is a difference between encouragement and recognizing their strengths, instead of focusing on their weaknesses.
(7) Never put a child down. Any side-effects may not be immediate, but it definitely hurts their self-esteems. This can have a long-lasting effect.
(8) It is ok to feel proud of your own child's acheivements (and you should always be proud of your child), but it is not ok to keep boasting. Imagine how it will be used as a yardstick for someone else's child and hurt that child's self-esteem.

Kierra's 1st Portfolio Shoot

Not to be outdone, Kierra had asked for a modelling portfolio too. Give her a break though, this is her first exposure....

Kieona's Portfolio Oct 2008

Our most recent photo-shoot in October 2008, after Kieona has completed her modelling course... enjoy...

Friday, October 31, 2008

Who Says Chalks Are Passe?

Mommy's not a big fan of chalks, since I still shudder at having to do class duties cleaning the chalkboards during school days. Remember those dusting? These days schools are either shifting to whiteboards with markers or using projectors. Lucky kids.

Well despite the near demise of the chalkboards, I have found some interesting ways to use the chalks for child's play. Afterall, they wash off so easily....
Kierra practising her writing...
Kierra posing, as always
A happy playdate shot
Eugene enjoying the weekly playdate
Pie can draw too...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why Donate to Public Cord Blood Bank?

There was this very insightful article in the Straits Times on Saturday 25 October titled "Go Public When Banking Cord Blood" by this senior writer Andy Ho (whom Mommy adores for picking out interesting but overlooked topics and putting together logical discussions on them). It was something that Daddy and Mommy felt pretty strongly about since having done some research and speaking to Granduncle Steve (who gave us a lot of useful information). So Mommy ended up writing to the Straits Times forum about it. They contacted Mommy last night on the phone to verify my personal details, but didn't confirm if they will be publishing it. Then again, I thought I might as well share my thoughts here. The below was what I had submitted.

**** start****
I fully applaud Mr Andy Ho's insightful review "Go Public When Banking Cord Blood" published in The Straits Times dated 25 October 2008. Back in 2004 when I had my first child, my interest was naturally piqued when there was so much fanfare about banking a baby's cord blood. Like all parents, who doesn't want the best for their children since it was marketed as the best kind of insurance you can give to your child?

Fortunately, I did some research and discussed this option with my gynaecologist, who gave me very useful information on cord blood uses and its benefits and limitations. So did I bank my child's cord blood? No. The reason was simple. Like what Mr Andy Ho had mentioned, most of the conditions that cord blood stem cells may cure a baby of later in life would have been pre-existent in his or her cord blood. Plus back then, the fact that future uses of cord blood banking and the stem cells in there are still largely speculative doesn't warrant us spending so much money harvesting and storing it.

Now, I am not saying that cord blood banking is useless. In fact, evidence has it that it has been useful in treating blood related disorders and certain cancers. Bearing in mind that, I am all for public cord blood banking and have been persuading people around me to do that.

This is especially true for Asians. Why? I had learned from the Singapore Cord Blood Bank's (SCBB) website that overseas public cord blood banks do not have enough samples that match our (Asians) multi-ethnic profiles, which makes it even more compelling for us to donate our children's cord blood (if there are no complications at birth). I conclude that this meant cord blood from a largely Western pool will have a very different make-up from that of Asians.

While I respect that cord blood banking - private or public is a personal choice, I fully support going the public cord blood banking way (save those who opt for delayed clamping way and there are no complications at birth). It was unfortunate that my children were all born before SCBB was active, but I for one will definitely donate my child's cord blood if I ever have another child. Afterall, why not offer the opportunity to help save someone's life?
***end***

Ok, I still have something to add which I had forgotten about. I'm not suggesting that we donate cord blood to the public pool because we won't be able to use it anyway if there are faulty cells. In other words, I don't mean that we donate what is inferior to the public pool. What I merely meant was that as it is a public pool and it costs good money to store them, the public banks will be even more stringent about the quality, so anything that is deemed less than what is "perfect" in their guidelines will probably be dumped, rather than kept. As for private banks, the main motivation is profit so it is in its interests to store that inventory of cord blood for as long as it is profitable and mutually desired.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Singapore Zoo on Deepavali 2008

It was a while since we had been to the Singapore Zoo. Mommy asked Daddy yesterday if we could go this morning since it was Deepavali and we didn't have anything lined up. Mommy wanted to use this opportunity to take some photographs for our website as well.
Our journey begins...
Model gets cheeky
Making funny faces
Kierra looking happy when we mentioned lunch
We didn't wake up as early as Mommy wanted to (Mommy hates the big hot sun and getting roasted) but we went anyway. We got a couple of good shots which can be used for our site and had some fun family moments as we went along working. The funny thing was, instead of taking photographs of the animals and being so intrigued by them, we ended up being amazed by a spider right in the middle of the web, and a sound asleep dragonfly. Check those photos below.
Sleeping dragonflyThe spider and its web
One thing we did learn that was new about the animals kept at the zoo - the monkeys could "talk" very loudly. Oh, Mommy just forgot what those monkeys were called. They were black and quite near to the entrance. Let me see if Daddy can put the video we took up on Youtube. Kieona and Kierra ended up imitating them too. :))
Kierra looking glum as there's no food in sight yet
Kieona having a little fun with Daddy

Lift Upgrading (LUP) 1

The huge crane - guess it's purpose?
See how far it stretches?
The crane holds these metal chains which are then tied to the concrete slabs as they get sawn
Oh, so the crane prevents the slabs from falling off
The empty space where the slab used to be
It's been hell of a noise when they started sawing and hammering away the walls for the lift upgrading project at our block of flats. The noise although for pretty short periods of time, still gave Mommy a headache. What a relief that the kids are all in full day school now, so it didn't quite affect their naps. However the house got rather dusty and we're all displaying some symptoms of side effects like cough (Daddy) and sensitive nose (Kieona). The other unfortunate thing is that it has been such a difficult period to work from home.

We're trying to look on the bright side of it all though - it means we can quickly get lifts almost at our doorstep!!!
Making the concrete lift shaft
The concrete shaft all completed for ground floor
What we see when we open our front door

Sometimes We Have Nice Dinner

When you stay home and are very hands-on with your kids, the sometimes rather unfortunate things is that we cannot afford all the time in the world to constantly be creative with their food. Many experts have recommended that food be presented in interesting ways so that kids love them and do not need further prompting to finish up.

Not that we have much problems with our kids eating at home since they almost always prefer home-cooked food to outside takeaways or even restaurants. Then again Mommy was in the mood for presenting the food nicely, so we had this nice fried rice with chicken and a little bit of salad greens, all prepped in a short time of about 15 minutes (excluding the time the rice cooker took to cook the white rice). Well, I'm convinced they ate a lot faster than normal.

Now the challenge will be keeping it up (which by the way we haven't).
Wow, looks yummy....
Kierra enjoying her salads
Kieona just picking out the egg yolks that she doesn't fancy

Teeth at Grand Old Age of Three

Dear Kierra has always been very late where teeth is concerned. Her first teeth sprouted at around 10 months and now at the grand old age of three, is sprouting her last set of molars. Wow, mighty late.

The cons of it? Her slow eating - as she uses her front teeth for chewing and sometimes it can take a looong while..... apart from that, no major worry. The only consolation? I've been told that later bloomers (in the department of teeth sprouting) will mean that the child will start having decays later.
Kierra using her front teeth as usual
Not sure if it's true. Kieona has been having a lot of cavities (she started sprouting at 6 months and finished by around 2 years old) and we've spent quite a lot on dentistry for her. Would not have mattered much to Mommy that much if she had not kept insisting on keeping her looks in pristine condition for any shot at modelling.

What to do? No choice lah....

Sunday, October 19, 2008

No Baby....

Of late, Kieona has been asking for another baby in the house. She said our house should have three children. Of course, her requests has been much protested by Kierra and the way it was protested became a topic of teasing by Mommy.

Just a week ago Kierra while sitting on the toilet seat doing her big business with Mommy waiting at her side, she said she doesn't want another baby. When asked why, she thought for a while and said, "If there is another baby then Mommy will carry baby and will not carry me anymore."

Mommy told her that it was a silly thought and whether there is another baby in the future or not, Mommy shouldn't carry Kierra as Kierra has grown up and is getting too heavy for Mommy. However, Mommy can still carry Kierra and Kieona if they get really tired and needs Mommy to carry them while they nap. After a while Kierra exclaimed, "Mommy, you only have two hands. I don't want another baby!" A strange exclamation right? So Mommy asked what does having two hands got to do with babies?

Kierra replied, "You have two hands, then one hand hold Jie Jie, and another hand hold baby, what about me?" I burst out laughing at this point, but the poor little girl had started pouting and immediately burst into tears.

Ahh, kids... I'm sure I will one day look back on all these exchanges and be glad to have been able to spend most of their first few years with them.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Swimming Lessons 10 October 2008

Daddy got a very cool gadget for the camera that can help us use our regular camera under the water. Fantastic and that was how we were able to take photographs of the kids learning swimming and how they look underwater. Until you see it for yourselves, you will never understand the heartwarming feeling we felt when we see our girls, especially Kierra being so comfortable under water. Is she a mermaid?
Kierra & Daddy
Kierra flying...
Kieona & Daddy

Check out this Facebook Album for more of the swimming photos.

After Mommy had posted this blog entry, some people had asked me if there was a special camera that we used for these shots. For the record - no. Actually the solution was pretty simple for us. We already have two Sony digital cameras and really didn't want to part with a few hundreds more for a under-water camera. Daddy did some research and found some Olympus ones that could do under-water shots, but at more than S$400, it was really quite pricey since we don't need another camera. Voila, we found this website and bought this product called a DiCAPac Waterproof case for digital cameras. At around S$50, we had the problem solved and got all these fabulous shots with our lovely daughters.

Just a small little note here though - it is just a recommendation and we (including our business BabySlingsAndCarriers.com) are in no way affiliated to this website. Do check with the website if you have specific questions.

Kierra's 3rd Birthday

Kierra's birthday cake (the home version)
The lovely pair of sisters
Mommy helps to cut the cake
Let's dig in!
Happy Birthday to You (x2)
Happy Birthday to Kierra
Happy Birthday to You......

You're a big girl now, darling.....

Kieona's First Music Concert at Yamaha

It was an exciting day when Kieona went to perform for her first music concert for her class in Yamaha. It was a mini-concert with just the parents and the kids who are attending Mrs Jen's class, but nevertheless an enjoyable one. Initially Mommy was worried about whether she may freeze as she's never been the best keyboardist in class. Then again as mothers all do, I encouraged her as much as I could, had her well-rested and practised with her more frequently nearer the date.

Knowing her temperament, I had to dress her for her role and made sure she liked the clothes she wore and the way the hair was styled. Every little detail I could think of I did to maximise her potential. After that, I just told her to enjoy herself. (That's the only thing I can think of to tell her since I didn't want her to get stressed up. Even if it didn't go well, I will still be proud of her.)

With Daddy, Kierra and Maria also attending, Mommy wanted Kieona to feel proud of her performance. Perform she did. In fact, everyone thought she was very lively and Mrs Jen was surprised at her performance. Good job, Kieona! Your hard work paid off! Just like your gym coach Janelle said to you before - if you keep doing, you can only get better.

Kids preparing for singing
Kieona concentrating
Kids singing the song "Whales' Sneezes"

Check out Kieona's keyboard performance on Youtube.




Eugene's last week at Godma's

It's pretty sad letting Eugene go to a childcare. Even though it has been a real hassle having him in our house, it was still difficult for Mommy to let go. Afterall he's always been here since his mother gone back to work. Unfortunately, there's a lot more things that will be more difficult at home if he continues to stay on. As it is, Mommy already feels very guilty that her girls are not getting enough attention with Eugene around, so there is not much choice but to let go. Nothing is forever and I'm glad that we got to spend the last 15 months together.... we did enjoy a lot of one another's company in the last few days.... some pictures we took for keepsake....
Tickling Kieona...
Riding bicycle
Eugene riding pillion
Kierra's 3rd birthday present
Eugene grabbing Jie Jie